Don't even think I'm joking or do you think I am? Ok, by the time you're done reading this, I swear you wouldn't be poor again, except you want to. The best part of it all is that, one out of the places I am gonna show you can make you rich by the time you cart away all the money you can find there, and you better act fast before another Thief overshadow you and take away all the money.
Forget about all the stupid moral preachings you hear in the churches and mosques - stealing is the easiest, coolest, and fastest means of making money in town right now.There is this man I know very well, he and his family where begging to feed as at last year until he discovered stealing. Today, as I am talking to you, this man is already a multimillionaire!
Now, its your time to shine through stealing! Are you ready to get started? There are more than 2,000 places where you can steal more that N10,000,000 each - securely and confidently without any disturbance or fear of being caught. If you can just do two places in a day, you'll be making 10,000,000 x 2 = N20,000,000. I am sure by now you are itching to go? Ok, if you're ready, here are the practical step by step how to go about your stealing business like a Pro.
1. Go Hijack a Cash Filled ATM
This is one of the easiest means of stealing. This days, you have many ATM Machines outside the banks, filled with cash. You know the banks are very stupid, instead of putting the ATM inside the bank, they've now decided to drop such Monumental Liquidity outside the bank building under rain and sun, thereby make it very easy for you to cart it away. All you have to do is to look for a very strong digger (I can borrow you one if you don't have yours) but I suggest you buy one for future use.
Go during the afternoon when they'll be plenty of money inside the ATM and dig it out, look for a friend to help you carry it home or you chatter a taxi, it's not that heavy I've tried it before. By the time you opened it at home, you'll be surprised of how much freshly minted notes of N1,000 notes you'll meet inside The gigantic Metallica cash incubator.The content may even be N5,000 notes. Trust me, people are making a kill from this daily. If any policeman sees you, just pull out four bundles of one thousand Naira notes and fire at him. I swear he will quickly shut up and even assists you carry it home.
2. Break into Any Wealthy Politician's House
I heard that politicians don't put their money in the bank for fear of being discovered. They prefer to stuck their houses with that crispy transactional papylous, otherwise know as cash. One of the choice politician's house to visit is The Lion of Boudillon's home, I'm sure you will find plenty of cash there. Make sure you go with two of your friends who will help carry the excess cash.
The best time to go is during the afternoon around 2pm when the security men would be busy praying. Quietly walk in and carry as much as you want. Don't forget to go with a toy gun in case any funking guard showed up.If you need automatic riffle, semi automatic or pump action, just call my hotline even if it is rocket propeller you need. If you see any juju inside the house because I heard that Baba used to do plenty Jujus, urinate on it to neutralize it's antarctic potency.
Another good place to go is Otta Farm. I learnt from a reliable source who prefer to be Anonymous that Baba used to sell plenty eggs and Snails on Fridays, thank God its Friday. Go by that time when you'll meet plenty money from the egg sales and go in the morning time when Baba will be busy toasting the Iya Elejas alias big bottoms who came to buy fish and egg. And remember to go with your automatic or semiautomatic riffle. If you don't have a riffle, make a good Catapot.
If you're in Northern Area, try Babangida's Hill Top Mansion. Make sure you load your gun very well. Go around 10:30PM when Baba alias Maradona will be fast asleep with two Arabia beauties each lying by his both sides massaging his potbelly. Just walk in quietly and carry as much as you can.I heard from reliable source who prefer to be Anonymous that the gulf oil dollars is still there.You can steal as much as $20,000,000 or you add 3 more zeros to make it round number.
3. ARMY Barrack at Month Ends
I heard from a reliable source who is death by now (may his soul rest in piece! Amen!!) that Army people don't used to receive their salaries through the bank, they receive it cash at the Barrack every month ends... can you imagine that?I heard that they usually lineup like primary school infants while getting paid? No wonder there is infantry in the Army! All you need to do is, go there with 4 or 5 Ghana-Must-Go bags because you will meet plenty cash but don't carry it to Ghana.
After they've been paid, gather some of them (about 100 of them) fire two or three shot in the air and order them to lay down, collect all the money and zoom away!!
I think these few but stupendously cash infested dukedoms are enough for today, my hands are smelling of cash now - by tomorrow we shall continue. Remember to give me feedback when you returned.I've just exposed cash goldmines to you. If you need any help from me, ask me by commenting below - see ya tomorrow evening when I'll be teaching you how to steal Jet-fighter from USA Military base.
Note: This article is dedicated to anyone who is pessimistic about business. Who doesn't believe any business works. Try stealing!
Hahahahahaha, Boss, I did not know that you are a comedian. Anyway, thanks for the tips. I hope more people can try these and be lucky to stay alive to make comments below.
ReplyDeleteLOL... Kadzem I hope you're getting ready to join
Deletefunny you bro. each time i tried to laugh while readin this i ended up farting with my ampit. but u make sense die. enof word for d lazy dudes out there who will even pray atimes that they see bags of money on their way that someone misplaced...lolz.
ReplyDeleteHow does it sound when you fart with your armpit? It sounds like Babasuwe's fart :(
DeleteHahahaha dammnn i couldn't stop lafin...you so funnyyy...lol
ReplyDelete